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Remembering
Activities
for
Grieving Youth and Children
The following books give hands-on projects for grieving families
they can do to help remember their loved one. "Crafts provide
wonderful ways for grieving children to make things to help
remember and share their special person who died.... Preparing
and sharing their creations with other family members...invites
quality time for telling stories and secrets and unveiling thoughts
tucked deep in the heart." (Sweet Memories, Stillwell)
These books, though mostly geared towards children, can be used
by anyone who has a need to do something to remember
their loved one.
Sweet
Memories, by Elaine Stillwell
- This
book gives children (specifically between the ages of 4-12)
twelve different ideas for projects they can do to remember
and memorialize their loved one. Each project includes a note
for an adult who will be helping, a list of materials needed
for the project, and steps for the child to take to complete
the project. (Note for readers like myself who aren't very
crafty: oaktag is in a few of the supplies lists - it's just
posterboard. Never seen it called that before!)
- On
many pages it encourages the children to involve other family
members and share their crafts and their memories with others.
As Stillwell notes, "Involving other family members...makes
the project even better, since it multiplies the memories,
offers lots of discussion, and allows quality time for bonding
and healing."
- It
gives suggestions on what the ideas can include so the child
will have a starting place.
- My
favorites are Joy Junk (a box of small items gathered that
have definite connections with the person to be remembered;
items such as comic books, photographs, an old report card,
etc.), and the Memory List (where they make a list of things
they remember about their loved one that made them special.)
- From
a note to the children: "Don't waste another minute.
Get busy rediscovering the special things your person loved....
Recalling happy times and happy things fills your heart with
the specialness of the person you don't want to forget. Telling
your favorite stories and sharing your best memories keeps
your loved one's memory live in many hearts."
- Also
from the book: "Sweet Memories is a wonderful
lesson in caring and sharing and so special for young grieving
hearts. Using materials that were associated with their loved
one and with a hand from an adult, children can make projects
which open doors to healing by sharing memories and reliving
precious moments."
A
Forever Angel, by Elaine Stillwell
- Ms.
Stillwell lost her two oldest children at the same time in
a car accident. The following Christmas, she had a difficult
time getting into the festivities; but when she saw an angel
at a local card store, it seemed to call to her. She purchased
every angel she could find over the next couple months and
labeled them to send to friends and relatives so that her
son and daughter would be remembered. The tradition has carried
on every year, and the idea has helped other families get
through the loss of their children. This book was written
to share the feelings that these angels brought into her life.
- There
are 14 different angel craft ideas, ranging from making angel
cookies to angel potpourri pillows. My favorite is the Thanksgiving
Angel Box which encourages remembering specific things about
your loved one.
- There
are ideas for specific angels you can make for both Christian
and Jewish holidays. It also details what to do when you are
done making the angels and how to prepare them for sharing
with others.
- Stillwell
suggests that you give the angels away, as she did, making
sure each one is labeled with your loved one's name and dates
of birth and death. "Knowing your special person is remembered
by others on those important days gives a big lift to your
heart."
- From
the book: "What makes Angels so popular? Do you
think it's because they make you smile? Or is it because they
seem to stir up happy memories for you? Could it be because
they make you feel good all over, like snuggling under a cozy
quilt on a cold winter's day, or jumping into a refreshing
pool on a hot summer's day? Or is it simply because they're
always with you, listening to the stories in your heart, seeming
to sit right on your shoulder?"
Memorial
Rituals Book for Healing and Hope, by Ann Marie Putter
- "There
are few opportunities in today's "hurry up and be over
it" world that afford the bereaved a safe place to talk
about and mention a loved one. These rituals give family members
a time and place to acknowledge the memories, to tell others
of the significance of this person in their lives. ...Rituals
are important and creative ways to help the bereaved to heal."
(From the introduction)
- Though
the directions for the rituals seem to be geared towards use
in bereavement groups, they can be amended for use in a family
or personal setting as well.
- The
32 rituals are broken down into Holiday Rituals, Camp Rituals,
Group Closing Ceremonies, Conference, Rituals, and Unique
Types of Rituals. It also includes a good section of poems
and meditations in the back that can be used with the rituals.
There are references to both the Christian and Jewish religions.
- Each
ritual is named and details the appropriate ages to participate,
the amount of time it takes, materials needed, and a full
description of the ritual.
- One
idea is a Valentines Memorial that has each participant decorate
heart-shaped valentines on which they write a message to their
loved one. They can then put the valentines on a popsicle
stick and take them to the cemetery to place in the ground.
(If there is no close cemetery or the person wasn't buried,
it suggests purchasing a plant and placing it in the dirt
around the plant.) Other ideas detail candle ceremonies or
the placing of stones.
Also see:
If you are aware of a book that fits in this category and know
where I may obtain a review copy, please e-mail
me.
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Remembering a Loved One
Collecting Stories from Others
Preserving Your Own Memories
Gathering Memorabilia and Treasures
Creating an Online Memorial
Paying Tribute during Special Occasions
Books about Remembering
Preservation/Care
Things to Keep in Mind
record the memories of a
male friend or relative
"Perhaps they are not stars in the
sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to
let us know they are happy."
~ Eskimo Legend
Most
of these books can be purchased through their links to Amazon.
If they aren't available there, I have linked to the author's
or publisher's site.
10% of all proceeds
from the videos are donated
to the Solace House
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