|
Books about Grieving & Remembering
In the past, books about grief dealt with just that - how to
heal our hearts from the grief of losing a loved one. Recently,
more and more of these books are including sections about how
remembering your loved ones can help you to heal. Here are a
few of those books that tie together remembering and healing.
Don't Let Death Ruin Your Life: A Practical Guide to Reclaiming
Happiness After the Death of a Loved One, by Jill
Brooke
After
months of looking through every book on grief I could find,
I finally discovered what I had been looking for in Brooke's
book. Centered around the idea that in remembering our loved
one we can find happiness again, Brooke's book gives the reader
many ideas on how to use these memories to find joy in our lives
again.
She
believes that weaving memories of a loved one into our daily
lives makes sense - and is easy to do- by giving five steps
to do so:
- Remember
the ways in which your loved one left an imprint on you.
- Make
it a point to tell stories about the person you love.
- Weave
your loved one's interests or values into the fabric of your
own life.
- Keep
your memories alive by having objects that were routinely
used by your loved one close around you.
- Create
a special place for your loved one during ceremonial times
- graduations, births, marriages, holiday get-togethers -
whenever she would have been there to celebrate with you.
She
also covers how we can record our own life stories to be a comfort
to those who we will leave behind, but does so in a way that
is non-threatening and can be incorporated into the little things
we do already.
Ending
with a chapter titled "Good-bye is not forever," she
tells of experiences people have had receiving unexplained messages
from beyond. Although at first this may seem odd, reading the
chapter gives hope that our loved ones are indeed still watching
over us from above. An important note she writes is that this
book is not an invitation to live in the past, but a guide in
the search to find meaning from the loss. Although she touches
on the traditional steps of grieving, this isn't your traditional
book covering how to heal from grief, and as such, is a refreshing
addition to the literature already in the field.
From
the book: "Although
no longer physically with us, our loved ones remain emotionally
and spiritually close when we incorporate their memories into
our daily lives. As we draw comfort from their sustaining presence,
we can have a positive impact on those around us."
Chicken
Soup for the Grieving Soul, by various authors,
compiled by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
Most
everyone will know of the quality of the Chicken Soup for the
Soul series of books, and this one is no different. It is a
collection of stories of others who have lost friends and family
members dear to their hearts. The great majority of the stories
reveal how the writers have remembered and will remember the
one they lost, and as such they give the reader many ways they
can remember their loved ones as well.
The
second-to-last story in the book is "The Mother Box,"
about a woman who wanted to "capture the essence of my
mother and place her in a box" as a gift for her brother
and sister. This story makes the reader want to become a part
of it, to experience a transforming experience such as this
for themselves. The book makes it feel as though these experiences
are possible for anyone mourning the loss of a loved one.
Unfortunately,
the very first story gives a daughter's comment, "You're
not doing a shrine thing again, are you?" as if wanting
to remember or creating a place to remember is not ok. Within
the story itself, the original "shrine" caused much
pain to look at instead of bringing comfort, so it's understandable
that something like that would want to be changed. But if someone
has a desire to remember, or if creating a "shrine"
brings comfort, that idea shouldn't be looked down upon.
From
the book: "This collection of inspirational stories
will undoubtedly provide comfort to readers who have lost someone
close to them. The authors of these stories share their own
experiences of learning how to cope, to reach out and to move
on. Their powerful, poignant and comforting stories provide
solace, insight and connection with others who have walked this
powerful yet transformational path."
The
Gift of a Memory: A Keepsake to Commemorate the Loss of a Loved
One, by Marianne Richmond
This
keepsake book is a beautiful poem that walks the reader through
the path of mourning, understanding that grief is something
that stays with you for a long time, but eventually, your memories
will bring sunshine into your life. The poem ends with a series
of "May-you's" for the reader: "May you sense
your loved one's spirit on a lazy sunshine day.... May you recall
that radiant smile in the sparkle of a star...."
The
complementary artwork beautiful in its simplicity. The impressionistic
style and confident, almost child-like brushstrokes are calming
and draw the reader to contemplate the meaning behind the words.
The paintings themselves are simple and generic enough that
they can prompt all kinds of memories, and they can fit anyone
in any circumstances.
The
very last page is saved for anyone to record their special memories
of the person who died, and the only problem with the book is
that there should have been more than just one page to record
those memories!
From
the book: "The Gift of a Memory is a warm and
gentle gift of love that commemorates the loss of a special
life and celebrates our most cherished memories. Each page,
with its tender prose and reflective artwork, is a hug for the
healing heart."
The
Journey Through Grief: Reflections on Healing, by
Alan D. Wolfelt
Mr.
Wolfelt teaches that remembering is not just an important part
of mourning, but a need for those who are dealing with a loss.
In this book, he goes through the "Six Mourning Needs,"
giving the reader many things to think about.
Mourning
Need #3 is all about remembering the person who died. Wolfelt
suggests that there is a great need to continue your relationship
of memory with your loved one who died. Though it can be a slow
and sometimes painful process, embracing those memories "makes
hoping for the future possible." Pondering on these reflections
help the mourner see that the sometimes painful memories are
an important part of his or her new life, and that in their
expression, healing will take place.
From the book: "The Journey through Grief
is organized around the six needs that all mourners must yield
to - indeed embrace - if they are to go on to find continued
meaning in life and living. Following a short explanation of
each mourning need is a series of brief, spiritual passages
that, when read slowly and reflectively, help mourners work
through their unique thoughts and feelings."
35
Ways to Help a Grieving Child, by The Dougy Center
35
Ways came about from the Dougy Center's search for what
does and doesn't help children through grief. They gathered
the most important things they learned from the kids into these
35 ways. Three of the ideas are specifically about remembering
the person who died, suggesting talking about and remembering
the person and giving ideas for artwork crafts that the children
can do to remember.
The
Brightest Star!, by Kathleen Maresh Hemery
The
Brightest Star is a children's book written from the viewpoint
of a young girl who lost her mother. It talks about her changing
relationship with her father, and details what happens at school
when she's faced with having to draw a picture of her family
and doesn't know what to do. Looking for the "brightest
star" in the sky helps her remember her mother, and the
reader can really feel the change within her as she goes from
feeling lonely to feeling the warmth of her memories. The artwork
style starts out a little blurry, feeling cold, but as the story
goes on, the images become more focused as the little girl opens
up and talks about why she is struggling, eventually finding
her answer.
Also see:
If you are aware of a book that fits in this category and know
where I may obtain a review copy, please e-mail
me.
|
