Keep in Mind....

Here are a few things to think about as you are deciding how to collect and preserve your loved one's memories:

• Make this a reflection of who she was, or how you remember her. If she wrote in a journal, you could include some of her writings. If she was a photographer, let the presentation be centered around photography. If she was a collector, find ways to incorporate what she collected into the things you are putting together.
• This is not something you need to do alone. You have many friends and loved ones who would most likely jump at the chance to recall their own memories of her or help you put this together.
• When others find out about what you are doing, they will undoubtedly want copies. Try to make it something that will be easy to duplicate for others.
• Use acid-free and archival safe materials where possible. The Preservation/Care section of the web site will discuss more about this.
• Think about how you want to present these memories in the end so that you know what format to put the stories into. Read the section on Gathering and Organizing the Stories for some ideas on organizing letters or individual pages of information. Some of the ideas: use photo albums to collect and "display" photographs and letters or written memories, or gather the information in a word processor and take to a printer to bind into a book.
• Remember both the good and the bad. Your loved one was human; she had her faults. When our loved ones are gone, we tend to put them on pedestals. But we can't expect ourselves to live up to the image we have of them if it's not a true image.
• Prepare yourself for learning things about your loved one that you may not have known before. Some of these things may make you smile, others may make you wonder how well you really knew her. Dealing with these revelations can be challenging, but at the same time they can be cathartic and rewarding as you integrate the old with the new.
• Enjoy your memories, but don't get lost in them. We live in the present, we have hopes and dreams for the future. When we let them, our memories can help us do both.

And the most important thing of all is to remember that these memories are meant to bring you and your loved ones peace, to help all of you remember the good times you had together, and to find joy in the experiences you shared.

If you have any questions or concerns, or are even just looking for a little guidance or help in what to do, please e-mail me.

Remembering a Loved One

Collecting Stories from Others

Preserving Your Own Memories

Gathering Memorabilia and Treasures

Creating an Online Memorial

Paying Tribute during Special Occasions

Books about Remembering

Preservation/Care

Things to Keep in Mind

 
record the memories of a
male friend or relative
 

"Memory is a passion no less powerful or pervasive than love. What does it mean to remember? It is to live in more than one world, to prevent the past from fading and to call upon the future to illuminate it."

~ Elie Wiesel, in All Rivers Run to the Sea: Memoirs

 
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