Writing Down the Stories
for something you can do on your own

Summarizing the idea: Write down your memories of your loved one using things around you, lists of questions, or even Internet sites to help you trigger the memories that may seem hidden.

There are many things you can use besides photographs to help trigger your memories. While they do add an extra dimension to your stories, you may not have access to photographs of your loved one, or there may just not be many available. If that is the case, there are other things you can do to help you remember.

• Pull out a blank piece of paper. Ask yourself a few simple questions about her, write down the answers, and you'll have a good start. As you write, you'll remember more stories about her (take notes!) that you can write about later.
  • When and how did you first meet?
  • What about her made you laugh?
  • If you could only tell her children or grandchildren one thing about her, what would it be?
  • What was her favorite thing to do?
• Visit the following sites on the Internet and read through some of the questions listed. Think of how your loved one would answer, then write about your memories of her and how those topics affected her life.
  • Biography Assistant - a Genealogy.com guide to recording memories - the only site I've found with questions tailored to writing about a deceased loved one. Contact me if you know of any others.
  • Guide for Interviewing Family Members
  • Journal Jar Ideas - skip past the part about making a journal jar and go down to the questions.
• Read these Life Story Briefs from the Story Circle Network:
• Writing About Real People
• Writing About Disaster
• Go through a few of her things if you have easy access to them - school or office papers, perfume and lotions, collectibles, etc.; think of things that represent the five senses. Think about how these "things" affected her life - how she felt about her job or school, what kinds of things she collected, and what they meant about her. Then write about the memories they bring to mind.
• Write letters to your loved one about things you would talk to her about if she were here. This becomes a sort of journal for you, but it is one way of recording the type of relationship you had with her, and you'll undoubtedly write about many of your memories together. Read Writing Through Grief, one woman's account of writing letters to her sister after her death.

If you have any other tips on different ways you can write about your stories and memories, please e-mail me and I'd be happy to include them on the site.

Remembering a Loved One

Collecting Stories from Others

Preserving Your Own Memories

Gathering Memorabilia and Treasures

Creating an Online Memorial

Paying Tribute during Special Occasions

Books about Remembering

Preservation/Care

Things to Keep in Mind

 
record the memories of a
male friend or relative
 

"We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory."

~ Georges Duhamel